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PORTABLE WASTE DISPOSAL SYSTEM
(PORTAWAD)

“PORTAWAD heeds the call of nature.”

The PORTAWAD is standard issue for all exploratory and First Contact missions where Terrain Operations Portable (TOP) Camps have yet to be established or are simply not feasible. Environmental safety and ecological preservation mandates require all off-world produced waste to be carefully managed. This is to prevent contamination of natural resources, spread of infection or otherwise compromise the attributes the target world was valued for in the first place.

PORTAWAD uses a rechargeable, chemical hyper-desiccant with an activated charcoal core. The beauty of the system is in its simplicity. Simple chemistry. Low power-consumption. Near 100% elimination or recycling of all biomatter.

For private purchase, PORTAWAD models come in all flavors [this word is used deliberately] of color, composites and accessories. The most popular accessory remains the heated seat option, followed closely by the voice-command drying unit. A variety of crystalline fragrances can be purchased and sprinkled into the drying unit to cleanse the air rather than simply neutralizing less desirable odors. For those who have an undying need for privacy, an attachable vertical blind system can be purchased separately and used in two configurations: single wall, or fully encircling “shower curtain.” Acoustic privacy can be ensured with an integrated music player (with loud volume) or the Lower Chamber Acoustic Neutralizer (LoCHAN).

LoCHAN uses waterproof microphones under the rim to record, process and produce counter-frequencies to any noises it detects. The result: an embarrassment-free experience. Conglomerate missions forbid the use of the vertical blinds system or LoCHAN. Safety is the primary issue. Certain privacy concerns are therefore suspended to achieve this end.


CRITICAL ACCLAIM