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JERI SODA COMPANY: BINKY-COLA

“The fizz bizz, one delicious bubble at a time...”

Binky Soda, established in 2305 as “The choice TO future generations,” started its unlikely life as a combat salve.

The “Bloody Hell Mary” (as it was known then) was a viscous liquid designed to be ingested ahead of combat to heighten the body's natural production of platelets in the bloodstream. In the days before advanced Enforcer underarmor (with nano-shunting features), Bloody Hell Marys were credited for saving countless lives from bleed-out. (The trade name of BHM is “Battle Hemotopi-Mend.”)

The artificial platelet material in the BHM cocktail is a compact, synthetic molecule packaged so as to not cause blockage of the vascular system as would happen if in its tertiary (“unfolded”) form. The detection of hypovolemic shock by the sudden rush of corticotropin, glucocortoid and/or beta-endorphin release in the bloodstream trigger the BHM molecules to action. The BHM molecule springs open into its final, mesh form as enters the wound site to speed the body’s natural clotting process.

The BHM solution is a magnified application of a hemophilia treatment developed by Jericho Pharmaceuticals. A failsafe designed into the BHM molecules cause them to dissolve in 48 hours. “Treatments” must therefore be repeated every two days to maintain its effectiveness. Conglomerate accounting executives created an uproar at the massive cost of “literally dissolving returns.” At the request of CMSB, Jericho Pharmaceuticals created a non-dissolving variant of the BHM. Testing conducted on military medical lab clones (MMLCs or “Medi-Clones”) showed the molecules had an average reliable shelf life in vitro of 25.2 days before some would spontaneously activate. The final results: a 100% fatality rate within 26 days. Autopsies revealed a litany of conditions which ranged from strokes to heart attacks and to other undesirable conditions.

Assembly insiders called the attack a prelude to gut the CMSB's ever-increasing budget. An uptick in new system alien aggressions assured the Conglomerate's frontlines would remain well funded, however. Despite its proven combat efficacy, the political sparring became such that Jericho Pharmaceuticals itself pulled BHM from the market.

The actual rise in casualties in the Enforcer ranks because BHM supply depletion is unknown. The skyrocketing costs for new world acquisitions due to the sudden, immediate need for combat-ready troops to replace those killed resulted in a rash of hurried resignations from the anti-BHM delegates. Jericho Pharmaceuticals gifted the formula and several production facilities to the CMSB as an act of goodwill.

Riding on a publicity coup for their generosity, Jericho Pharmaceuticals rebranded itself the Jeri-Soda Company and used its knowledge of “biologically lucrative chemistry” to launch a line of beverages for the masses. “Mind-Up,” “Study Sap” and “Gleefizz” each generated more profits than BHM ever did under CMSB contracts. Of all their formulations, Binky Soda was, and remains to this day, their greatest success. Whether this was due to its revolutionary flavor, the lovable “Binky the Bear” mascot, or a combination of both remains a hotly debated topic in marketing circles.

For most, the irony for Binky-Soda is that they owe their success not to cutting edge science...but to sugar.

In 2619, Jeri-Soda secured the rights to sell samples of Hawaiian sugar cane from Old Earth. The Binky Soda formulation was then modified to replace it's synthetic sweetener with a hybrid product derived from the cane plant. This crop (simply called “Cane 2”) is now grown and harvested from agro-planets wholly owned by the company around the galaxy. The result was an instant, almost addicting hit among consumers. Binky Soda created more wealth than any other product outside of weapons development in times of war.

Jeri-Soda eventually secured majority second-tier ownership (the primary holder remaining the Conglomerate) of all sugar-producing plant material in the Agrogenetic Catalog, thus ensuring none could challenge them in the beverage arena based on this sweetener.

Countless food and beverage companies had tried unsuccessfully to acquire use rights for this old world plant material leading some to charge the unlikely gene rights acquisition was payback for the BHM gift decades earlier.

In response, CMSB and Jeri-Soda issued a single joint public statement this was not the case.


CRITICAL ACCLAIM